As a photographer if you read the internet reviews, the latest release of gear and such then you are constantly bombarded with acquisition. I remember starting out with a Sony Cybershot DSCP1 pocket camera I purchased at Best Buy with my very first tax return. I think I spent a few hundred bucks which was such a big deal but I wanted to take pictures and buying drugstore disposals was just getting old.
I didn’t have the internet back then to read reviews and to even know what was the best. I just went in the store grinning ear from ear and plopped down the bank card after grabbing hold of this beautiful shiny gadget. I remember imagining the types of images I wanted to create. Family photos, photos of the town I lived in at the time because it was rural and there were horses. I walked out of the store feeling I was going to have such a blast! You know what, I did. I remember thinking it was so awesome seeing the photos instantly on the back of the camera – like the old Polaroids my dad would take and stick on the refrigerator. But then something dawned on me. How in the heck am I going to get these things off the camera. I must have went back to Best Buy because I remember having this handy little printer I stuck my memory card into, yeah it was a Sony Picture Station 4×6 Photo Printer. That camera was with for me years. Through dating, getting married, vacation and moving to Canada.
Needless to say I passed that camera on to my niece after my husband surprised me with a Sony F707. Oh man was I in heaven! A brand new camera, I was stoked. My GSD Dante and I set out for hours upon hours of hikes around Quadra Island. By this time I had a computer so I had tons on floppy discs filled with images. From there I found photography forums and started sharing images with others. I was hooked.
A few years later the Sony era faded for me only because I received for my birthday the Nikon D70 with 18-70 Kit lens. This complicated things at first because I started seeing photography in a whole new light. It wasnt just snapshots anymore. I was given something that I just couldn’t point and shoot anymore. There were actual settings, a lens that detached…holy crap what did I get myself into!
For a full year I used that camera daily, then all of a sudden I stopped shooting. We moved back to the states and ended up in WA. I guess I had become uninspired. Shortly after moving into our new home, we were invited to a BBQ at the neighbors and I grabbed my camera for the first time in months. We arrived and as I shuffled through all the strangers I came upon this beautiful creature. She was magnificent! I walked over with camera on shoulder and a Sam Adams. Leaned over the fence and she grabbed my beer in her mouth and started trying to gulp it down. I couldn’t believe it, this darn horse was trying to drink my beer! It was instant love. I grabbed the camera off my shoulder and shot some quick pics of my Indy! This was the first day I met my horse and the first day in months I felt inspired to take pictures again.
Over the past few years I think I have had my ups and down with photography. From family and friends saying things like your soo good you should sell pictures or you should charge this to take pictures to – I SUCK! I NEVER WANT TO TAKE ANOTHER PHOTO AGAIN. My love for this art has taken me through self exploration as well as seeing human nature in a new and exciting light.
I’ve gone through G.A.S (gear acquisition syndrome) a return to film to selling nearly every piece of camera equipment I owned. But inherently without a camera it just doesn’t feel right. I missed taking special moments, I missed sharing those moments with family and friends and I missed the reminiscent feeling of going through and looking at old photographs, whether in an album or on the computer.
So for me I don’t care about selling, or getting paid to take a photograph. I care about capturing what makes me feel something, I love the anxiousness I get from seeing and feeling the images I can create. Through photography I’ve learned to see the world through different eyes…I’ve gained a deeper respect of people and have also learned just how fragile life truly can be.
As an outlet photography helps with my introverted nature to be able to communicate if only to one other person. Its indescribable at times, its frustrating, its pure joy…its a part of me and I love it!